Wednesday 13 February 2008

Bay - Faced Cheek

'scuse the punny, crappy title, I need to get to my point quickly.

"I've been writing Transformers 2. We've got our characters all designed. I always write all my scripts, my movies anyway so at least I've got something to give the writers. It's like a template. We have a really good outline so I worked on that." Michael Bay

And that, my friends, is why screenwriters went on strike. Not just because of money, but the generally disgusting way in which the craft (and it is a craft) is treated by those who cannot do it.
There are many, many bad screenwriters out there. Some of them are earning a living from it. But none of them deserve to be shit on by the likes of Bay. This is the man who was happy to give Joe Public the chance to write a line in his movie for an online promo competition. If someone had offered Joe a chance to direct just one fucking shot of Transformers he'd have been up at his DGA Rep's door quicker than you can say $100 million weekend.

Writers, however, even the staggeringly inept ones, take this shit for no other reason than that they do. That's it. They take the hits. They shrug their shoulders and resolve themselves to these realities. Because most of us don't feel like we should be at this party. We feel like interlopers, crashers at this grand occasion, when the truth is we should feel like the hosts.
We originate the work. Regardless of whether it's based on an existing property, whether it's good, bad or indifferent, original or derivative, writing leaves us vulnerable to crushing lows and soaring highs. The difference is that we take the flak for the lows and thank everybody else for the highs.

Bay is representative of corporate Hollywood and all that is wrong with it, all that has provoked the WGA's ire. The Director calls all the shots and the writers bow and scrape, kow-towing graciously when someone deems we can do our jobs and actually write something we might have thought up. Ourselves.
And it's wrong.

It's absolutely disgraceful that he should make comments like this. For one thing, if he's been writing, he's metaphorically crossed the picket line. I have no idea if he's a member of the guild or not (I really fucking hope not), but if the like of Tom Hanks can refuse to cross the line, what price a little solidarity from the likes of Bay?

But apparently writers are merely slaves to flesh out his own ideas.
Here's a suggestion, Mike; if you're such a writer, start, draft, redraft, redraft, redraft, take studio notes, redraft again, and then finally finish the goddamned thing yourself. Join the WGA if you haven't already.
Then, and this is the important bit, take the flak when it tanks. If Transformers 2 does business on a par with The Island, go tell it to the mountain. Remind everyone that you write all your movies... I don't remember a whisper of that post-The Island. Wasn't that also "written" by the two guys who helped you craft Transformers? It didn't make any money, did it? In fact, it sank like a brick. Transformers does stellar biz and suddenly you write all your movies. Way to go motivating Orci and Kurtzman for the sequel. I'm sure they'll be thrilled that you've told everyone they're essentially your bag men.

Let me reiterate something for you, Michael. Transformers stank, no matter how much money it made. And you're taking credit for it. The only point to the entire spectacle was seeing just how freaking awesome ILM are when they're doing their best work. Do you honestly think you can pull the same blindside on that many people a second time? It was vapid, puerile tripe of the first order. LARGE parts of it made no sense, and... ah hell, I'm gonna say it-
I enjoyed Premonition more.



Did I step over the line?

Good. On with the show.